Back from Newcastle

What Ho Proles!

Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday. I forgot to mention on Friday that I was going up to the North East where I would be attending Arnold ‘Malky’ William’s bachelor party. Now I'm back, I admit that I wish I hadn't gone. He was always an odd sort but Malky has got even odder since he left Eton. He has pretensions to be an artist and is living in a converted loft studio in the middle of Newcastle where he paints people’s portraits. It sounds high and noble until I mention that he only paints them from the back. Has an odd concept of art, has old Malky. Never has a man devoted so many years to the crowns of people’s heads. It’s also quite disturbing, walking about his place and looking at so many paintings which resemble hairy faces.

Anyway, after a somewhat drunken party, I stayed the night on account of a slight mix-up with the local constabulary. Things were sorted out quite amicably this morning once my lawyer got to the station and I'm pleased to say that there’s nothing going on my record as I was the innocent party in all of this. The goat wasn’t my idea.

I travelled back down this morning and, after an uncomfortable number of hours in police cells, I intend to sleep for the rest of the day. I bring with me a rather odd canvas that Malky did of me from the back. I might get My Man to photograph it and post to the blog in the coming days. Then again, I might not. There’s not much to be learned from a picture of the back of one’s noggin, though I can’t deny that there’s a certain aristocratic charm to be seen there.

Until anon.