An Aside on American Politics

What Ho Proles!

America! Land of the free! Home of the brave! Etc. etc. etc.

And what a beastly place it sounds.

I can’t say I’ve been following the recent election with very much enthusiasm. Nor, indeed, would I claim my interest has guided me to read up on the dratted subject. I have the old radio on in the background as I work on my memoirs and I listen to the occasional report coming out of the old colonies. What I have again found myself noticing, however, is the strange notion of left and right they have at work over there. Oh, I know it’s nothing new and my observation is hardly an acute one, but I think it needs restating that America is a nation of pedants, picking over the finest minutiae in order to express political differences where none really exists.

To draw an analogy: my cousin Bertram is very much like me. We think the same, vote the same, and damn it if we don’t look the same. Yet he wears nothing but Scottish wool. He swears by the stuff. I, of course, remain fiercely loyal to the fleece taken from the backs of English sheep. And this, I think, is somewhat like the difference between the Republicans and the Democrats. They are, to confuse my metaphors somewhat, cut from the same cloth. That cloth is the American belief in individual freedom. Every damn one of them thinks they know better than the rest. There’s no aristocracy, you see, which would give everything a proper sense of scale. With individual liberty comes a stubborn belief in one’s own supremacy, even when that supremacy amounts to stupidity.

The middle ground of American politics is slightly to the right of ours and Tony Blair spans its extremes. It makes one think the likes of George Galloway and Ken Livingstone actually brighten our days.

You might argue that Iraq is a telling difference between the parties but I cannot see how things would be much different. Republicans are Democrats with a little more backbone and the ability to throw a slightly better class of war. Jimmy Carter, bless his socks, was proof that there’s no room for shilly shallying when it comes to armed aggression, and camels across Afghanistan have been sleeping soundly in their beds since Bill Clinton stopped firing cruise missiles their way. Conversely, the Democrats are Republicans with more kudos with the Hollywood set and the connections to help them throw better parties. In the end, one cannot help but feel that when it comes time for Americans to put on their raincoats, some button them on the right, and some on the left. The effect is the same and people across the world are still going to get wet.

I better end this potted summary of American politics. The memoirs call me like the sirens from the fog bank.

Pip pip.