What Ho Proles!
Well, the nation is hiding under its collective bedclothes tonight and I'm back on the warm stuff. What with a serial killer on the prowl and enough polonium going around to power a small sun, I can’t see the point in doing very much but hunkering down until the panic is over. I’ve instructed Mrs. My Man to release the hounds early tonight and to permit no visitors through the gates. We’ve also loaded up all the shotguns in the house and I have one close to hand should any eventuality arise. A message to the young: reading, writing, shotgun safety, Latin, in that order. It’s the only proper education fit for an English gentleman.
You might wonder why I take all this gristly news to heart as I’ve spent the day writing and avoiding as much television as possible.But damn them if these journalist types don’t give us the willies, if you’re pardon an expression I’m sure we took from the French. They (the journalists, not the French) glamorise crime in a way that makes one feel that the whole human race is in pretty tight pickle. Is it any wonder I feel like I’m the only sane man stranded on this island of ours? The innocent amongst us should all decamp to the Isle of White and whoever is left are sure to be the criminal types we can send straight to clink. [Memo to self: David Davies might be interested in this idea].
Switch my hide with bamboo if there’s not more noise coming from below my window!
I suppose it will be the dogs but heavens knows how I fancy losing off a couple of shells. At least I would feel like I’m doing something, as opposed to sitting here like a damn coward.
Come on, show a bit of backbone, people! Remember Napoleon's famous words before Waterloo: if we stand together then nobody can defeat us!
Huzzah!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You should make sure that you are careful, regardless. I don't mean to be dismissive of your serial killer, but in DC alone, I've lived through snipers, serial killers, murders, what have you.
If we can live through it by being careful, you can do the same!
Rest assured, Momentary, that 'careful' is my middle name. I have a dozen savage dogs between the Hall and the fence, and I'm never far away from my trusty shotgun.
You make Washington sound a delightful place, by the way. Is it like that all the year around or is it just so colourful in the autumn? We're yet to experience a sniper in this country, and serial killers are quite rare. The last murder to take place in C--- N--- happened in the 1920s and was a poisoning that led to the arrest of a butler. As they say, it's always the person you suspect the least.
Post a Comment