What Ho Proles!
Once the idea was in my head, I had to act. Our dear Momentary Academic has set us all a challenge to write a sonnet in less than an hour. My Man ran teary eyed from the room when I suggested he join in. Alas, I didn't have an hour, but here is my attempt. I confess that the scansion is less honest than the sentiment.
Sonnet On A Rat
Scallop jawed wanderling of underwood,
Knaw-faced being of these old panelled halls.
I would promise you much, if only you could
Stop nibbling your way through cables and walls.
Come into the light where my aim might find,
A hind quarter or a dark beady eye.
You think you’re lord and master of your kind,
But I say you are no more than a fly.
Come see me here, with my twin barrels locked
With shells of powder and sweet leaden grain.
Test me by running to yon grandfather clock
And see we Murgatroids are of steady aim.
In the end know this, my sewer dwelling friend:
We Tories will chase you to the World’s very end.
Until tomorrow when I promise you no more of my doggerel.
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9 comments:
Oh, Sir! This is indeed a wonderful sonnet. You have answered the challenge quite wonderfully!
I swoon at your poetry! :)
Alas Momentary, reading your own delightful sonnet, I fear you're merely placating a man who picks rhymes as well as he picks winners at the horse racing. However, I appreciate your kind words. I shall certainly take them into consideration when I think of posting more of my rhymes to this public place.
Jacob
What hole does thine adversary hide in and salutations for the new year old slayer of his ememies
My dear Eliza: this adversary of mine hides in yonder hole. Indeed, he hides beneath the hall and we have not yet assembled enough fire power to flush the damn critter out. I've never seen a rodent as big.
He's not the only one. These rats are everywhere and I fear I'm living in some short story by Mr. Lovecraft. Tomorrow, we're going to try a spot of explosives and see if we can get the rats out in the open. The problem is that they seem to breed like rabbits: bloody big rabbits that reek of sewage and can take your arm off.
Happy New Year, by the way.
Typical male you make a yard out of an inch and a rodent rambo out of what I suspect will turn out of to be a clock beetle slightly tipsy from the slurp of vintage (tawny) port it licked off the left back leg of a Queen Anne in the study....
I cannot deny that alcohol has been spread liberally around the place over Christmas but the rats are huge, I tell you! The chap from pest control paled significantly when one rammed into the side of his van. He claimed it reminded him of a holiday to Kenya when his Land Rover had been hit by a rhino.
Oh, it's so sad to see that you city folk know so little about the British countryside!
City folk?? me? Wash your mouth out with the 20 year old bar of carbolic soap which lives on the window sill of the stables. I am a country girl born and bred. tsk!
Ah, forgive my presumption, Eliza. One hears so many complaints about city vermin that I supposed you could never have seen rats this big. Did I mention they can take off an arm?
My dear Murgatoid, words fail me as much as a ruler has failed you. Did you know that there are centuries between the beginning of mathamatical education for men and women. Yet somehow, it is always the male of the species who makes an inch a yard.....
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